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06 December 2009 @ 10:12 pm
Hello December  
God damn on toast, it's December already? Another month closer to 2012... anyway, here I am again, back from yet another spree of LJ neglectence here to give you the lowdown on shit you don't care about. Not much to do otherwise...

Just got back from the mountains, a-fucking-gain. The snow was still mighty scarce up there, a little more than last time but not enough to actually do anything besides nearly kill myself sledding on the local privlaged families estate. What happened was Tasha, Paulina and I walked over there and decided to sled down the hill that is besides their house and runs into the street. After huffing and puffing because it's gotten to the point where I'm such a fatty McFatass that climbing a hill takes me down for the count, I decided to be the one who would ride down the hill first, essentually being the person who demonstrates what the others shouldn't do while riding down the hill. I obviouslyunderestemated how fast I would end up going and didn't even think of bailing out of my sled onto the soft snow like a smart kid. Instead I took it like a manbitch and stayed on as my sled flew into the short stretch of street, took me all the way across and into the dirty grassy and altogether hazerdous ditch on the other side, catching some serious air and landing with the grace of a hippo falling down a flight of stairs.

It all ended with me screwing up my poor tailbone even more, which I've dragged to hell and back since I first broke the poor bugger (It's really hard to think with the safety of your ass in mind when you actually want to do fun shit).

The next day... well rather today we were dragged to Frasier where the three of us got to watch Terri my dad and all their friends enjoy breakfast a-la chocolate fountain (apparently) because we had already eaten breakfast (Biscut FUCK YEAH!!!!) So me and my sisters were basically the odd little group of nobodies in the corner of the room, throwing packets of jelly at one another and concocting the most disgusting thing I've ever seen (Almost the entire lot of sugar at out table, a large amount of salt, water, hot chocolate, jelly, Ketchup, Hot sauce, butter, whipped cream, a soggy waffle from someone elses table, syrup with a cherry and strawberry on top. Tasha actuall drank it, is the better or worse part)

Afterward we went on the annual adventure to go get a christmastree out on the tree-dense middle of fucking nowhere. Me, getting the short end of the stick, got to romp around through the woodsie-winderness while we searched high and low for a tree that didn't look gimpy/ hadn't been taken down by beetles in hiking boots. Not the comfortable fuzzy and warm winterboots everyone else enjoyed, I got hiking boots that hardly covored my ankles, that got to enjoy the snow and cold to the fullest as we searched for a tree that didn't make Paulina bitch like a bratty, privledged 3 year old (even though it was hardly her tree) Her inssesant bitching had us driving home with not one, but two trees because the first one we decided hardly fit her standards and made my dad go back into the woods to get another one. Holy fucking shit I kid you guys not.

Soeaking of Paulina, rewind to Frieday as we drove down to my dads house. Pauli acaught wind that me and my mom had stopped and Panda Express for lunch when we were up at Fort Collins for my one-on-one advising (RETARD MATH (along with retard english), AAAWWW YEAH! GOOD THING I'M GOING FOR AN ASSOCIATE OR ARTS DEGREE!!!)(CAPS LOCK IS FOR LOVERS!) So, she suddenlly got an appitite and started whinning that she was hungry, and whenever my mom asked her what, she'd pipe up and in the tone used by most happy 5 year-olds she would say "Panda!" There is not Panda Express on the way to my dad's house, and that's usually what my mom said. Loud and angry childish moaning-fit would ensue when this was revealed to Paulina, like her moans and cries would some how summon up one out of thin air. It was fucking recockulous.

Nothing much else has happened recently. Kaley is throwing a bitchfit that Randy wont let her get a pitbull that will torment the cats and out elderly dog Cooper. I have faith that there are friendly pitbulls but I'm not about to trust one. Not that I'm going to tell Kaley that, she's fucking pissed off as it is at Randy, getting the the point where it got totally off topic from "Your being fucking irrational, it's a sweet little dog and it's only 100 bucks for a purebreed." to "You never talk to your older daughter and excomminucated her from the family because your a fucking idiot". I'd hate to see where our "I'd rather you not get the dog" arguments could go, since there are so many ways our magical adventure of having our first fight as stepsiblings would take us... or rather me since I don't know shit about Kayle besides she smokes a crapload of weed and has a douchebag of a boyfriend (status of said relationship is unknown).
 
 
I feel a little....: tired
 
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30 November 2009 @ 05:15 pm
Hot lesbian make out scene with a dude  
dream!Me is confused about my sexuality and also a whore. I had this dream, not sure how I got where I was prior to that, but I was in this long winding red hallway with this crowd of people dancing and flailng our arms as we went down it. It all seemed nice but then it suddenly hit me that this was bad and because we were all dancing and going down this hallway we were all going to die, and apparently Beatrice from Umineko was behind it all. Neuro was apparently with me, which even if he exsisted would never happen because I'm not awesome enough, and we concoted this plan to save ourselves by hiding from her in this bathroom.

Suddenly dream!Me wants to be a filthy heterosexual whore, and I totally took off my panties (I was wearing a dress?) because, in dream logic, it would disguise me (Cause that makes sense. Go comando and suddenly your unrecognizable...) And to further make sure Beatrice wouldn't find us I told Neuro that me and him should make out. dream!Neuro is an equally whorish dumbass, agrees and we begin to feaverishly make out with one another for like five fucking seconds before we get walked in on. It was totally awkward and hard to describe, the make out. But after we got walked in on I somehow hid in this bathroom stall and was totally nude... my clothes seemed to have dissipeared...

The confict resolves itself, Neuro dissipears and I'm at this prom, except everyone is in cosplay and I'm with Q who suggested since we'de done everything that needed to be done that we should leave to go play at this park near where cosplay prom was being held. I agree, we leave, and Q suddenly morphs into Sara G. A shitload of people are gathered outside, just hanging around, and by the looks of it, it was noontime and we had been at the cosplay prom for like less than 30 minuets and were now leaving it to go play at a park. We know how to prioritize places to have fun in dreamland....

dream!Me finally obtains sense and tells Sara to hang on. I run inside, looking for people I know, locate Wiebs and Lisa and a bunch of other people and beg them to let me hang out with them.They laughed at me and agreed and ran out to Sara G. and told her I was staying. Turnes out she was totally okay with it since she found a "hot asian boy" to go with. dream!Sara and actual Sara are disterbingly alike (Yet dream!Me wants sex all the time...)

Dream end. Today I finally went to group advising, got a lot of my questions about applying answered and I got quite a bit of people watching in. The class I was in was definintly a motley crew that I would most deffinintly label as the community college going lot (bad Alexis, don't fucking steriotype you dyke!). There were a gaggle of hispanics, a girl my age with a baby (one can only assume it was hers) a middle aged woman, a guy who looked like he'd come straight from a trailor park who kept fidgeting in a manner that made it look like he was masterbating, some random guy with a mohawk and the guy next to me who could have been having a seizure with how much he was moving around. (He left early durring the meeting to go to work but I was all "yeah right, you need to go make a deal" in my head)

There was also this guy who darkly laughed like he had some sort of evil plan as I passed him leaving the Challenger Point building...

It feels so humiliating to be picked up by your mother in a college parking lot, and it's five times worse when she comes in her soccermom minivan with packaging tape holding the back bumper in place. Epidemy of white trash vehicle comming to pick you up. Hurray.
 
 
I feel a little....: mellow
 
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26 November 2009 @ 06:06 pm
AWWWW YEAH  
Thanksgiving. I've certainly seen a more lively holiday in my time, that's for sure. When the time came to actually feast upon turkey and all the other fun trimmings it was so fucking quiet we had to turn on the TV so me and Tasha could make fun of a silly football movie. Nothing really much else to say about the actuall festivities, or lack thereof. It certainly tops last year though, thinking back on how I suddenly managed to become sick as a motherfucking dog and indirectly ruining the first ever sleepover with Tobi *sigh* That'll be a Thanksgiving I'm far from thankful for.

Anyway, todays also a day in which we list off what we're thankful for and try not to look like a bunch of asses by going on long and romantisized tangents on how we're thankful for family and friends, good food and good times. I... I'm thankful for a lot of shit. I don't really feel the burning need to list off everything, if I'm thankful for it, you'll know on your own.

I'm certainly not thankful for Amber, though. Cat's probably more horney than your garden variety frat boy. Little miis Amber is in heat again, walking around with her hind legs spread and her butt proudly pointed to the sky. It just goes to show animals are creatures of habbit and don't realize the stairs their rubbing against aren't going to satisfy them as much as they think they will. Of coarse, I always get sick kicks out of messing with the poor animal while she yowls and cries for sex, mostly taunting her by resting my foot on her back and getting her needlessly excited. That and putting her on the piano, mostly because she actually plays it while she does her little "Ohmygod, sex me now" dance. But in the end, the bad usually weighs out the cat-tormenting good, and all night I got to hear her horny symphony of meowing. "Everyone, get up! No one's screwed me yet!" is pretty much what she's saying.

I also got a very lacking amount of sleep since Tasha was sleeping on my bed, rolled all the way over to the wall, and me getting on created this gigantic air bubble that kept on almost pushing me over the edge. I tried making Tasha's sleeping conditions uncomfortable, shifting around and jabbing her with whatever body part was nearest her in attempts to sent her retreating to the couchupstairs, but to no avail.

That's pretty much been my thanksgiving. I finally return to LJ to grace you with a tiny little stump of an entry. I promise time and again to be active, but then I come across on of those "Blah" days and I start to go on a "I'm not writting shit" roll. I promise... to... write.... more...? By now, knowing me, that's probably the most empty promise I'll make lately....
 
 
I feel a little....: calm
 
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19 November 2009 @ 12:28 pm
Crazy ass dreams straight from Japan  
My dreams have been fucking psycho lately, let me tell you.

The night before I had this dream where I was in my room, looking through my manga when I realized there were a bunch of normal books shoved in, almost to make it look like everything was in place. I started pulling them out, all of which being like second grade reading level chapter books. By then I was freaking out because more than half my manga apeared to be missing after I removed all the decoys. In a rage I ran upstairs and yelled at my mom about where she had hid my manga. Apparently I was getting a new set of shelves and my mom wanted my manga to look nice as well (wut?) so she had my dad call up this guy who apparently specialized in "fixing manga" (god, what a job that would be)(By then you come to realize how rediculous this dream is. Can't have semi-tattered manga in a new bookshelf, let's not tell out daughter and give more than half of her manga away to be repared)(But wait! There's more!). Slightly relieved I asked her how long he had had them for. She told me he had had them for almost 35 days and had yet to contact us about them.

So my manga had basically been stolen by this guy who apparently spruced up manga. I was raging SO hard by then, yelling at her snd screaming. My dad somehow was there (This would never happen...) the man who had brought up the idea to give this random guy more than half my collection. So naturally I was mad. Apparently too mad, in fact, seeing as the first thing I did was pull a KNIFE out of one of the drawrs on him. Yeah, there I was, facing my dad down with a kitchen knife. Dream!Self is psychotic, don't take her manga, she'll knife you. Anyway, my dad, being the caring individule he is about his daughters turns around and grams this BUTCHERS KNIFE, and yelled at me to put the knife down. Esentially if I hadn't woken up, yeah, I would have had an epic knife fight with my dad. But the dream ended before me and my father could duke it out with kitchen cutlery.

Last nights dream was just as odd. There was a whole other story prior about how it was the end of the world and we all knew it, and we all had one day left and I ended up sitting on the sidewalk near my old house with my old neighbor talking about how his son died. But then suddenly me and a bunch of other people are at this casino type deal of a place, and we're shoving pennies down this slot (I have no idea what it was for originally, really) and then running down to a different level of the casino to see what we won. So I was standing in front of this real confusing machine that I'm not even sure HOW it worked, and suddenly this voice with an indean accent announces "Congradulations, you have won the cave of wonders". No idea, guys, but apparently I won a red wedding dress. I acted all excited about it, too. After I claimed my prize and haggled a hanger to hold my prize on by the casino owner (said casino magically became a dress shop and all my friends dissipeared) I left and went outside.

So, suddenly I'm in Japan... yeah. Apparently I'd been there for a couple of days for a school trip, and I walked over to this convenience store that I apparently had been eating at every day. After getting my food (a bunch of shrimp, pocky and this fried...thing that I kept calling a "daifuku" because... dream!me is smart) I walked into this cafe part of the convenience store, not looking for a seat but looking for manga, of all things. I didn't find any, and everyone there was giving me these dirty looks. So in defeat I sat down to eat my lunch when these three girls greeted me and asked of they could sit with me. I gladly obliged and scooted over so they could sit. I showed them my dress I had won (That had somehow managed to transform from an elegent red wedding dress to a somewhat hoaxy halloween costume type one) and I asked one of their friends where they got this big book of manga, and she said she got it at the Borders down the street (what, lul)

Suddenly one of them asks me "Why didn't you call me?" I assumed she was someone from dA I said I would call. Said girl magically transforms into this very openly gay/tranny hispanic dude and we're suddenly on this train together. I acted all confused, so he repeated himself. "Back when we graduated! You said you'd call me!" I looked out the window, away from him, still very very confused. We were passing this really unsafe lookign waterpart with all these towers and slides that looked like you could just slip off of. "I'm sorry...but what?" I asked him. "It's me, Damien!" he told me. Apparently I knew this gay/ tranny hispanic guy named damien back in highschool, and suddenly all these memories of him flooded back and I was all "OH MY GOD! DAMIEN!" and gave him this big hug and bull shited all these excuses why I never called him.

Cue another unexplained scene change as we end up in a small hotel room. Damien asks me to show him my dress again, sho I pulled it out of this bag that it was in. It had reverted even more, now it had randomly colored stripes and it was bedazzled or some shit. "We could SO have you model in this!" He told me, holding the dress up. Cue AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!!! Suddenly me, Damien and the other girls he was with are suddenly on ANTM, and there's this scene where me and the other girls are getting into this MASSIVE fight, and Damien was apparently involved, but had left and was in the kitchen, which had all these candles and sculptures shaped like penises (I assume they were Damien's). There was a hidden camera that Damien was awear of, because he kept on smiling and waving to it as he opened the window in out kitchen ever so slowly, with the rest of us girls screaming at one another in the background. Then he begins to step out of the window, giving the camera one final, sick looking grin as he waved and then JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW D8.

Yeah.... I wonder what my dreams say about me sometimes.
 
 
I feel a little....: confused
 
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14 November 2009 @ 09:26 pm
Fun with coffee mugs  
As can clearly be seen, I didn't end up going to my aunts house. My uncle had surgery and was in a lot of pain... sad to say that brightened my day. I felt like a douche while I celebrated in my head, making all these fake dissipointed "aaaawwww" noises, like I'd really anticipated attending happy fun drawing camp weekend. One mans trash is another mans treasure, or so they say... though I think you get looked down upon by treating your uncles painful post surgery like treasure these days.

I haven't really done much since my last post. the biggest thing I did today was buy Tasha some rolling paper for her weed. I was paid three bucks for my time in which I didn't even need to present ID... It's beyond my own knowledge if one requires an ID to buy rolling paper, but sauses say yes.

I wish my parents would be quiet. Not in the general sense, but the "When their in their room and I can do nothing but imagine what they're doing" sense. I'll be sitting at the computer when suddenly my mom will just cry out, like she was just attacked, houting "STOP! STOP" and laughing... okay, mostly it's my mom, Randy hardly makes noise durring these violent sounding rounds of middle-aged courtship. I could totally be over exadurationg things, but when you hear your mom cry out from her bedroom like that, you can only really wonder who's doing what to who...with what...

And then my mind travles to the blue dildo I found back in March and I die and start to pitifully cry and moan inside.
 
 
I feel a little....: disappointed
 
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12 November 2009 @ 11:24 pm
By the power of greyskull...  
Finally got around to taking the placement test for FRCC yesterday. It's really nothing to brag about, a placement test for a college everyone 17 and older is excepted to, but still, I got it done, which is saying a lot for me (I procrastinate like it helps me do things faster). The reading and sentence skills were... well themselves. Whether I actually have any tellent in the feild of writing or not aside, I find english type questions easy (whether I get the questions I find easy or not is a totally different matter...) so I didn't really spare either of those parts of the test much sweat.

The elementry algebra part of the test however.... it's one thing to find yourself failing at algebra, it's another when you put the word "elementry" before it, like everything on the test would be common knowledge (It probably would be for people who dedicated a part of their schedule to a math class senior year and didn't take a semester off for self exploration (IE: To be a lazy fucktard with no job)). So there I am, trying not to look like a caveman baffled by the strange and cryptic combination of letters and numbers, with no idea as to what they meant. A lot of the time I guessed, and the only ones I knew for sure were the questions that included the FOIL method (for the life of me I have no idea how I lost all common algebra knowledge, but somehow retained FOIL...) which was all of 2 out of the 20 questions. I somehow managed to narrowly pass with a 61, probably because I got a few lucky guesses... is my best guess. I was like a confused and blindfolded retard walking through a mine feild durring that section of the test, I'll say.

I then found myself sitting outside next to this fish!bikerack, suddenly feeling like a middle schooler who had stumbled onto the campus. Trying to keep in mind that the students there were probably right around my age group, I failed to do so and felt really out of place. It's one of those times where you're sure no one really minds your presence and yet you feel like you have a giant sign above your head. Mine being "Procrastinating fool who is scared of all of you community college goers". It was huge, it was neon, animated and came with loud drum and base music. I feel it only became more blindingly noticeable as I was the only person within the 30 minuets I waited to be picked up to be picked up. By their mother.

My metephores are starting to obtain a mind of their own, just so you know.

This weekend is going to proove to be the most awkward of them all. I'll be away, but not at my dad's house. No, I'm going to be staying at my aunts house, who expressed a great mountinous concern when I sent her an Email about not feeling motivated to illustrate her (doomed) story. Instead of saying she'd provide me with more information or over-the-phone guidence, she felt we needed to be face to face. I wasn't awear there would be a funfun weekend illustration camp at her house that I would be invited to this weekend. And there's this thing about my aunt that keeps me from telling her "no". For the life of me I can't fathom that word around her when she suggests or asks for something, no matter how much I don't want to do it.

The only thing I'm mildly excited for is the possibility I may be able to continue watching LOST, after having stopped watching it for over a year now (Last I checked they got off the island... those silly silly fools not noticing the very obvious plotshield that keeps them from staying away (I.E.: The title of the fucking show)(I seem to be on a roll with using I.E. I'm one of those people who, when they learn a new phrase or term, want to spam the world with it...)(Sad to say that I actually learned the correct use of I.E. at the blooming age of 18...)(God...)(Return of the unnecessary amount of sentences in parentheses)(...pie)
 
 
I feel a little....: okay
 
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10 November 2009 @ 02:38 pm
So this one time, after bandcamp...  
Hell exsists, and it is cramps. No, not the average cramps that bother you all day but are nothing more than a little sharp pain in your gut. The cramps I personally got to expirience first hand this morning got me crying like a baby and ruined my entire day of plans. Plans that involved taking that class-placement test for FRCC. Yeah, these things were like an angry god was falcon punching my fem-organs. I'll start from the begging, long before my impending doom brought me, quite literally, to my knees.

So, I had just taken a mountain of advile and was ready for your standard generic cramps, when suddenly, right there on the toilet, that small cramped bathroom became my pint sized hell. It was all sortof like that one time when I was woken in the middle of the night and throught I was going to die, but that was a totally different problem. This was worse. I was sweating like a monster and I couldn't think straight, the pain was overwhelming. And if you know me I usually just live with pain and don't try to make a big deal out of it. Unless it's broken or disfigured, I hardly cry out or blubber because of pain. Well now that you get the picture, yes, I began to moan and cry, pitiful as it may sound, on my porcelain throan where I suffered through most of the mind shattering pain shooting from my lower body.

My mom eventually came to my aid and said I should take more advil, so she handed me one more tablet and a glass of milk. Now, at this point I would have done anything would it stop the feeling I was being ripped apart from the inside by a really pissed off cougar, but looking at the milk and imagining ingesting it, I swear to god the thought made me queezy. And at this point the pain had gotten so bad I had begun to, I kid you not, hyperventilate. So much my legs and fingers were numb from the lack of oxygen flowing through me and I felt like I was going to pass out. But lying on the ground of the bathroom and trying to take deep long breaths only made my "Fuck, gonna barf" reflex all the stronger.

Eventually the pain and lack of oxygen and my head spinning became so overwhemling I did, in fact, barf. I had eaten all of nothing the entire day, so lucky you don't get to hear the gory details on what I got to see get expulsed from my lips. It was just oozy and had a pink cloud in it from the advil (Yeah, I threw up the pain killers, the things that were supposed to help. Yay, go me and my stomach) After that I pretty much just gave up. I was still lightheaded and could hardly stand or think, and now had this trail of drool sortof hanging from my lips for about a few minuets. Nose running, me sobbing, hunched over the toilet with my pants pulled down. Any person walking in on that would have blamed alcohol, and even in my massive state of pain I actually did think about how odd that it was that way.

The worse finally was over after I let loose the contense of my emtpy stomach, and ended up falling asleep on the couch, a sobbing pethetic mess, with a hot zip-lock bag of hot water on my gut. I fell into a probably lack-of-oxygen enduced slumber for an hour and a half, and holy fucking shit, waking up not feeling like I was dying almost made me want to shed tears of joy. That and eat half my weight in bagel bites because I just then realized how hungry I was (By then it was around one PM). But yeah, best part of the day was waking up to no tear enducing cramps sent from the bowels of hell to torment me.

Also, the entire time while I wallowed in pain and petheticness my mom kept on saying the little gem "This is what it's like to have a baby." God, how much that made me want to ready the coat hangers and swear myself to a life of celibacy.

On a lighter note, I'm going manga shoping today with my first ever paycheck. Seems I actually made a profit from the one day I worked at the Corn Maze and got a check for 20 bucks. so yay, money. I'm so far behind on manga though, the thought of encountering the fruits of my un-labor will be painful.


 
 
I feel a little....: content
 
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09 November 2009 @ 11:29 pm
Silver goldfish painted bronze  
Going up to my grandparents has lost it's amazing gleem over the years, as if you never knew that throughout all my other entires about hating being couped up there and having some sort of strange fear of my sweet post-stroke grandpa. So being dragged up there again for a nice weekend in the mountains, you can imagine it looked like I was sucking on lemons the whole trip up. There's this vibe of unwelcomeness that hangs around such a happy house ever since my parents divorce.

Anyway, I guess the fall was cusioned by the ever bountaful stash of candy my grandma always leaves out and leaves me feeling guilty, especially since there were Lindor truffles, and those motherfuckers are like infused with coco-flavored crack cocain and will one day somehow be the death of me in a freak chocolate covered truffle accident where I'll somehow have a full package of the stuff lodged in my throat and major organs. Just watch, it'll happen, and when it does, write about it on my gravestone.

Anyway, me being paranoid notices my granpas hand brush across my chest as he hugs me, both wrapping me into it and letting me go. It's all probably an accident but my mind is convinced he's a sexual preditor. I feel bad in a sense I can't trust my 70+ year old grandfather, because who doesn't these days? Everyone always talks about how old people are so sweet and nice and here's me, with a phobia of nursing homes and my grandpa.

Nothing huge happened while we were there. There was hardly snow, surprise to me. It was sortof like the muddy season there, only with like a pile of snow here and there. Everything else was just puddles and mud and temperatures reaching the high 60s. Why hello thar, global warming. It was sortof depressing, too, since there were more trees chopped down since I came last. It's all for the good, fucking beatle kill and all. But it's sortof alien for there to be a shortage of pinetrees out there. Fucking evil satan beatles and killing my childhood full of foliage.

Also finally watched Watchmen. I always come to the party late on your big smashhit super hero movies, not counting spiderman. (Never gonna forget the time I mindlessly yelled "BITCHSLAP" surring the third movie). So Watchmen was no exception. I played the decent fan this time and came in having...not really read, but absorbed the meat of the story from the comic book, so I could point out here and there the tiny things left out. You know, the things most normal people just let be unless your a fucking crazed fan and cry and whine about it on youtube. I didn't really care they left out small details, mostly noticing the lack of very-angry-lesbian-woman A. The only thing that got me was the lack of poolside forgive-me-sex in Veidt's doom-for-the-win fortress that made Dr. Manhattan happy (I think I'm the only living person who wil EVER describe those few pages like that...)(Bricks. Through my windows. I'm surprised they don't rain down upon me like hellfire)

And as a tradition that goes along with going to grandmas, we were dragged along to church. We were bad sinful exmormons and went for some good ol' coffee before hand (which, yes, Paulina did tell my mom about as SOON as we got into the car because she's THAT much of a troll) so I was all jitters and giggles, which was only escalated by the fact the primary kids were doing their little presentation that replaces listening to olderfolk drone on and on about godjesus and the true gospel. And the only good thing about Mormon churches is the children-watching. First off was this one kid in front of us before the little stravaganza, who first whispered it to his dad, so it was hard to make out, but slowly he got louder and more sinister sounding as he rasped to his parents: "Where are the plants." If your mind didn't automatically jump to "lol weed" I worry for you more than this child. This kid honestly was getting up on fucking chairs and interogating his mom and dad on the location of "the plants". So I dub him "Canabus-kid" who will join the ranks of "Future cerial killer kid" and "the little slut".

The presentation itself was a demonstration that this church lives souly to brainwash the feeble minds of children. Just listen to a bunch of less that 12 year olds all say monotonously in unison "Families can be together forever" sortof hits the "Holy crap, this place is crazy" nail on the head when you witness it yourself. And little sally-three-year old saying proudly into the microphone about what SHE wants to do with her future. Innocent little girl who probably can't even tie her shoes or add wants to "Get married and have children." ...wut? Little sally needs to learn how babies are made, then she'll want to persue the most-likely lonely life of someone in the medical field dealing with cancer.

The rest of the weekend was blah. Bought the most amazing bread ever at this store named ever-so-creativly "Bread" in this small mining town where the houses were probably as tall as I am, saw "A christmas carol" (It's nice, not as funny as you'd think it would be)(And whats with Jim Carry and getting into all our childhood christmas classics?). Now I'm just stressing myself sweaty about tomorrow. I'm not even sure how it'll go down, but I'm taking the little assessment everyone has to take to get placed into classes at FRCC, which involves math, a subject I haven't touched in almost two years like a really moldy homeless man. I'm just staring at my TI83 calculator like it's mocking me. Thank god for multiple choice (watch it not be, then I'm fucked. My test sheet will be whiter then freashly fallen snow if that is the case in the end, my friends...) In all likelyhood I'll be placed into a class full of drooling idiots learning that two plus two does not, in fact, equal fish (news to me).
 
 
I feel a little....: indescribable
 
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04 November 2009 @ 04:31 pm
The fish says "Woof"  
Contrary to popular beliefe, I'm still alive. I just got into yet another one of those "God, I'll do it some other time" slumps while I made sweet sweet bendable-line-tool love to MS Paint. I guess I should write down the more important events I decided to totally just not tell you all, mind you they didn't exactly happen yesterday so I won't be able to put you right into the scene. You're going to have to use that thing called an imagination, unless you find it physically impossible and if that's the case I look down on you.

I should start with my dad and Terri's beautiful union as husband and wife. Most quick and to the point cerimony ever, probably because everyone just wanted to get to the part where they drink booze paid for by the bride and groom. It was bright and cold and windy and on a golf corse so all I did was squint, try and imagine myself someplace warmer and hope to god that someone got hit by a golfball, just so I could come back with more than "There were a bunch of drunk middle aged couples and...yeah". But sadly that's what I have for you. There were a bunch of drunk middle aged couples and yeah!

That and I got a record number of "So, now that your out of highschool..." questions, all of which I answered with utter embarasment that only escalated for every time another wasted friend of Terris stumbled over and asked what college I was going to and what I was majoring in. Imagine their surprise and how fast they would wriggle out of the conversation when I said I wasn't in school, taking a break, unemployed and living with my mom. Except for these two sons of one of the couples there, who laughed right in my face about it, and even further so when I said I was looking into a community college. Little turds.

The party itself wasn't really my style, seeing as I'm not 21 and dancing to 70-80's music with wasted adults isn't my cup of tea on most saterday nights. But it was my dad's wedding, it's not like I could latch onto my less party savy reletives that left early and beg them to take me back to Terri's place. I stayed there out of love with a sour look on my face and burned shit in the candles arranged on our table. It's amazing how burning plastic wrap and straws and imersing silverwear in melted wax can becone entertaining, but at the levels of bordum I was being assulted with, I was having a blast.

Um, so that's my dad's wedding. I guess I should quickl;y move onto the next topic before I just ramble about my day (or lack thre of...) which is my Halloween, which much to my amazement was not spent sitting at my computer and contemplating on giving little children the prior ofwhat they asked for when I answered the door. (for slow people: "Trick or treat"). On Halloweens afternoon I finally sent out a desperate text asking what people were doing, rediscovering religion as I prayed there was some sort of party that I could morph into. Wiebs eventually texted me back and after a while it seemed I had come into some plans, which was "We're going to a party". It's usually rude to invite yourself to other peoples gettogethers, but in times of desperation, mankind get's rude.

The party ended up being this small little gathering at, correct me if I get the spelling horrably wrong, Style's house. I caught a ride with Wiebs, Lisa and PW and when we got there most of the people there (which was about enough to fill two couches, so it wasn;t as crazy as I had predicted) were already on acid and according to them "Way too fucked up to go anywhere". So me and the sober people hung there for a while, I messed with style's amazingly fuzzy cat who was probably just as fucked up as everyone else, and we watched nightmare before christmas and the topic of how long it took to make such a stop motion masterpiece kept comming up.

We eventually turned to our stomachs instead of the wild acid enduced party that was going on and bailed and went to Chick Fillet which had just opened and you CAN'T not go to a Chick Fillet when you haven't gone in over a month at LEAST. We all got ourselves some nuggets and hung out for like an hour, just talking. I'm not sure for how long a period we were there for, but long enough for the manager to come take our trays from us and thank us for comming... I suspect he thought we were a bunch of stoners  come to take a breather in their fine establishment, but that's just me and I'm contantly "I bet that person thinks..." type of paranoid.

We finally left and went to PWs with promise of Little Big Planet and exposing PW to "What if". Little Big planet was never found, although the round of "What if" we played was a massive success. I did, however, while helping to look through the distatser of a room, find the most strange mass of "What the hell is THAT?"  behind PW's desk. It had a sort of thick spider web consistancy, except it was black and a little chunky and also had consumed about half a deck of magic cards. I made sure to leave the mystery mass well alone, as well as the area it was in. I could have been a concerned friend and told them about said frightening infestation, butI was too freeked out by it.

After getting some money from PW's step dad (I believe that's his title...) we went to the one place where all cool people party at midnight on Halloween. Yeah, motherfuckers, we cruized on down to Walmart, yo! Mostly to satisfy our "Goddamnit it's Halloweeen and we need SOME candy" fix. And for the life of us we probably looked like a bunch of confused foreigners the way we couldn't find jack shit. First me and wiebs not being able to graps the concept of the candy beiong in the way back with the soda and dairy items and then me and PW, who were having fruit snack cravings (For the life of me I couldn't remember the word "Fruit snack" and kept on calling them 'Gummies" which kept on getting me directed to the candy isles selection of gummi life savers) where we couldn't fathom them not being listen on the little boards at the ends of the isles (Who would have known, in my defense, that you found them with the cereal and granola....I mean COMMON, since when were fruitsnakcs related to breakfast foods?)

I came out with a large 2 liter bottle of Mtn Dew Voltage and some "Great Value" smiley fruit snacks (I can't stand anything but the generic brand in those cases... I like the consistancy of them, if that makes any sense). Me and Wiebs stayed at PWs for a little bit longer, giving up on finding Little Big Plannet and watching like the first 30 minuets of "Year one" before we got too tired and feared the result of Wiebs driving if we stayed longer. Also, Maya, lisa's cat who's either fucmking angry at life or is tripping on SOMETHING, tried attacking my feet... mind you I was doing NOTHING!!!

The next day was just me and Wiebs watching House and me pulling the "D8" face over the second season finale (NONE OF IT WAS REAL SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!!)(Also, guys eyeball popping out... yeah did wonders for my appittite) and nomming some generic brand roce crispies in the dinning hall before leaving. Which makes a total of 7 church days I have struggled out of. Aren't I just the best sweetest mormon girl?

And now, me lately? Me lately is fine. Being single is really really odd. I'm not all fucking sad about it... well I am, but I'm not the really depressed can't-get-out-of-bed sad.  But it's more of an odd feeling, since it was a little bit more than my high school thrysts it's just odd to be without. You just find yourself realizing it and avoiding love songs, y'know. Most people would take freedom by the balls and flirt like they needed to procreate to breath, but I'm not exactly all that forward a person and even if I was the closest thing we have in Johnstown to a club or wherever young people hook up these days is a McDonalds...

Also been running into a record number of spiderwebs today. Not the elaborate spiral kind of spiderwed, but that one little strand where the spider was probably all "Fuck this" and left it to blow in the beeze. For me to eventually walk into and swat at, the end result making me look like some sort of schitzo. There's a massive amout of those sorts of spiderwebs all over the neighborhood, which is odd since it's nearly winter now. Like all the spiders in the area got drunk, made a bunch of halfassed webs and left. Fucking spiders.

That's pretty much it. I promise to update here more often... I'd say if I didn't I'd eat a sock or something like I always do, but if that were the case I would have devoured my entire wardrobe by now.
 
 
I feel a little....: energetic
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
19 October 2009 @ 05:52 pm
Of Hats and Squirrels  
Last weekend was mighty awsome. Then again any weekend where I'm not cooped up in my house and get to miss church, yet again, is made of awsome. But I always apreciate a good awsome weekend. Anyway, so I guess I should explain, since I actually didn't talk about how excited I was in fear i would get jinxed in some way (from it getting canceled to getting fucking sick*coughNDKcough*)(It worked too, not talking about it... we just got hours of extra driving time due to mapquest being confusing....)

So, I spent the weekend up in Fort Collins with Jamie, Wiebs and Lisa. Getting everyone together was an adventure in and of itself. Finding me was easy, but getting to Jamies little town tucked away in the far reaches of "Holy shit, people live here?" prooved to test us to our limit. We got turned around several times, stopping by gas station after gas station until we got sure instructions of where to go. We finally got a hold of a lady who knew what the fuck she was talking about and we set off, an hour or two behind our desired arival time. Of coarse, the ride there had to be the hands down most boring stretch of land since my trip to Wyoming... neigh, all it was was the beauty that was "National Grasslands", at last there was slight scenery in Wyoming. Te most fun we had was passing slow moving vehicles on a two lane street and cheering whenever we saw signs pointing in the direction of Sterling, Jamie's town that makes Johnstown look like a fucking party town.

Yeah, I never thought it was possible, but apparently there are worse things than Johnstown. At least you're a highway's away from civilization, this place was tiny and made of more fail than win (The win being the drive through liquor store because... that's just awsome) who's downtown looked just as much a ghost town as it's normal "town". We eventually navigated Jamie to our car and initiated "getting fucking lost part 2" minus relying on gas station employees (Seeing there was a lack of anything on the road we took, gas stations included). All the while Jamie coached me on difficult tongue twisters that make you say "Mother fucker", giving me playful Jamie hits (equal to a regular angry punch, mind you) whenever I messed up. You would to if you were half asleep from driving through endless nothing and were forced to recite "I'm a mother phesent plucker. I pluck mother phesents. I'm the most pleasent mother phesent plucker to ever pluck a mother phesent." Though I suffered pain in doing so, it did deliver mild happy times.

After getting stuck in traffic that was totally motionless long enough for wiebs to put on the parking break and not have to shift back to drive shortly after and getting the shit scared out of by surprise fire truck honking we found ourselves on a seperate road, that lead us right past the slaughter house... Mind you the AC was on Recycle and I just about died inside. It's not a pleasent smell, it's like ass and really bad milk and unkept portapotty. Last I checked not a very good combo. We also passed a series of buildings I could have fucking sworn we passed before... I still strongly believe we HAD passed them before, right before we took that wrong turn on the way up. I still feel physical frusteration and refuse to admit I'm psychotic.

There really wasn't much to do when we got there. We droped Lisa off at her apartment after watching TV and readied everything at Wieb's dorm. We also put on epic hats Jamie brought (That never actually got taken off after that, and every time we left the majority of us HAD to be wearing hats!)(Period!) and went down to noods and co, mostly because 1. Me and Jamie hungered for carbs and 2. Because "It wasn't in Sterling." (The basis for most places we went to, and it's understandable,when you see Sterling. It makes you appreciate you arn't miles away from good food) We just gabbed and watched as Wiebs tried eating with a knife.

The next day was a bit more of an epic, mostly starting with the fact I slept through Wiebs' and her dorm-mate Nadia's roommate going on a high rampage of loud music and screaming (I had no iPod, mind you, and I'm not much of a heavy sleeper) but got  pulled out of my epic dream (involving a pink haired fairy protagonist who was involved in a videogame based racing dream... the last race a drempt up she won after falling behind because she wasn't wearing a bra... aparently her boyfriend in the series put one on her mid-race and it suddenly gave her the ability to win... don't look at me like that, dreams aren't supposed to make sense and make you look sane...) because I heard Nadia and Wiebs whispering to eachother. I fail to understand how I managed to do that.

Since I failed massivly and forgot extra clothes (You have to fail extra hard to do that) I borrowed a slimming T-shirt from Jamie, who sported a corset she wore with pride that day (Even though it kept her from being mildly flexable...) and we met up with Lisa to go get Starbucks (Becuase it wasn't in Sterling... but hey, how could we refuse?) I insisted on bringing my Mokona plush with me for a mystery of a reason, and felt nothing like a weaboo... which is a mystery because I'm a big being-a-weaboophobe. After coffee we started walking around, mostly the year-round halloween store in mind (Dude, epic is spelled Y-E-A-R-R-O-U-N-D-H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N-S-T-O-R-E). We got a tad lost, but nothing compared to the other days adventure in the land of endless nothing and pine-tree farms. I had to hold myself back, because I wanted more than to guy some arm warmers. I had the money, but I'm trying to exorsize wanting to use every last penny I have on random junk. And apparently I work it in a Koala noze and am good at impersonating ozzie ozborn. Go figure, guys.

We then stopped by the local comics shop, home of the most american comics I have ever seen in one places and the most win cat. I have never felt so much joy to see a cat roll over onto it's back like that, it was something that could not NOT be pet, you know? Anyway I'm not very big on Mavel and DC classics and so on and so fourth, I'm not a comics buff. So one can only feel like a noob when all you look at and for is anything involving Slade Wilson/ Deathstroke. I'm just sad there's no such thing (to my knowledge) as a Deathstroke comic omnibus. That could have made my life, and probably my next life, if there's such a thing.

After that we headed back to Wiebs dorm to wait until the time came to go to the tattoo and piecing store (Lisa was getting a tattoo, Wiebs and Jamie were getting their ears pieced (Spiral/ conch) and I was there for moral support/ to hold things). On our way back we ran into this "Get rid of Obama *RABBLERABBLERABBLE*" protests. We made fun of it the entire time, mostly because it was rediculous and consisted of old/ middle aged people. One day I'm going to hold a protest against street-side protests. It will rock. We drove around some, mostly to see go see the anime portion of the video store nearby(parking beforehand= Holy shit nuts!!!) It was a little corner tucked away in the store full of anime, it filled me with glee. I didn't buy any though, but I did get my hands on a bottel of Bawls and two packages of Yan Yan that I TOTALLY didn't buy because it's the official item of one of my Poke'Loids... never... We also stopped by five brothers for lunch.. best fucking burgers ever, I think. I havn't gone from burger chain to burger chain with the intention of sampling burgers, so I wouldn't know if there is, in fact, a  better kind. But hey, how many burger places do you know that have FREE PEANUTS? 

We then drove back to the dorm to wait out the remaining hours. We mostly spent our time watching Rockie Horrar Picture Show, so now I don't fail as much anymore and can add it to my list of movies you have to see in order to not get the "WTF, really?" face from someone in the room. It's a work in progress, a lot of good movies out there. I also made fun of the shit that was written on my Yan Yan. It had pictures of animals, their names and random shit having to do with them on the sticks. Still my favorite is the "Cow: MUUUUUU" and the inuendos one can make from the Owl and Bat...

The time came to go and watch as everyone did shit to their bodies I'll never be able to muster up the balls to do. Well... I guess sortof watched. I just held jackets hats and bags and stared at the wall. Yeah, I'm a pansy ass through and through and proud. Nothing much happened to me, I just watched everyone get lightheaded and listened to Lisa get her tattoo. We parted with PW after that, who informed us that Zombieland was playing at 10 and we should go. We had no other plans and Nadia said it was epic, so we agreed and went back to go watch the rest of the Rockie Horrar Picture Show (It may have been the attention, or lack thereof, I was able to pay or the fact it was hard to hear above the chatter, but it made no sense... I need to watch it again for everything to click, says everyone)(I might also need drugs) We also watched House and had dinner in the dorms (Me: Generic brand Lucky Charms, hell yeah!!!) and had massive nostaliga "remember back in elementry/middle school" conversations (That only caused me to really really really want to watch Hercules...No... idea...at all)

We went to the movie, picking up and dropping off people, eventually getting to the Cinimax where I stared in admiration as one of PW/ Lisa's friends owned at life at Galaga (I don't think I have the skill to get to the first challenging stage). Zombieland, I won't give you any spoilers for expect "Cardio" "Fuck this clown" and "You're about to learn who you're gonna call!". I'll leave it by saying it was pure epic and that I created a defensive maneuver for myself involving making Wiebs clutch my knee instead of my arm, since my keecap is least likely to hurt the next day after being clutched like a security blanket.

We ended up staying up until 2 watching TrueBlood after that. Never would I have thought a show involving Vampires and the deep south would catch my intrest as much as it did. It may have been the slight pornigraphic sex content... but now I'm just searching for a way for watch past episode 7 online... jeeze.

The next day we sat around, watching more Trueblood and packing up. We stopped by DSW and Ulta before we left to embark on yet another adventure to nowhere to drop off Jamie. It would have been the same mind-numbing nothingness had it not been for the fact my nose suddenly started bleeding. Now, in any other situation a nosebleed wouldn't be a point durring a trip that would make it worth while. Well one you'd have to see where we had to drive and two, it was just the most epic nose bleed I have ever had. I usually have very light nosebleeds, but this one was a beast. Globs upon globs. That and there were no tissues so I had to use a long sleeved shirt I wasn't wearing. And besides the standard liquid, I also left behind these bright red solid globs of mucussy blood, it was interesting. I ended up getting blood everywhere on me. Not just my hands, which indicated that or I had commited a violent muder, but apparently on my kneck and in my hair as well, as I found out in Walmart where we stopped for lotion and tissues.

Also Me: *Reads mexican resteraunt name allowed* Jamie: That place ruined my hair! Me: A Mexican resteraunt ruined your hair!?

The trip to Johnstown was just me Lisa and Wiebs talking and listening to random songs on Lisa's iPod and getting fucking blinded by the sun. In the end it was a fucking fun as all hell get together, and made my week. Awsome time guys!

 
 
I feel a little....: cheerful
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
15 October 2009 @ 06:09 pm
A man-spiration  
I've been avoiding posting here like I would the plague, and I'm not even sure as to why. I honestly need to stop, I like posting on LJ, I just loose the motivation and before I know it it's past midnight and I'm deep into working on a base and have no motivation left to even type in the site address. So here I am.. trying to make up for... what...three days of missed posts? I'm probably not even going to make it past three paragraphs, but here I go anyway. Banzai!

Life... life is good. I'm honestly surprised I havn't melted into a puddle of misery and woe after Sunday. I've just been... lazy.  Imersing myself in editing bases and watching standup... and holy shit I think I just found my favorite stand up comedian. I never felt this way since like... Dane Cook...which is sad because when you think about it Dane Cook isn't even all that funny at all... But anyway holy shit guys Nick Swardson! He's possibly the only comedian as of late who has actually made me, literally, lol.

I've also been really sleepy lately. People who chat with me on AIM can tell you, I'm on for like... less than an hour and suddenly I'm just OUT. I'll pass out right at my computer, which hardly ever happened in the past. I've just been really exhausted this week, that and I've been waking up later and later. Usually I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I stayed in bed past 10, now I'm waking up near 11 every day and it always feels as if I've wasted my day that way.

And, as a personal worry... well it's not much of a worry as it is an "Um... so now that?". I've been RPing with Cass for the past, like, month? Maybe more? Anyway it's gotten to the point where antagonists are dropping like flies, leaving us with nothing really to do except have our characters have sex.  So, me not wanting to get bored, tries to get things moving so there will be another conflict in hopes to keep it going, but all of my ideas are far fetched, even for the RP (Where, mind you, people claw their way out of hell, get pregnant for SCIENCE and have superdemonpowers) Even the more latest villans have been snuffed out quite quickly (most recently Gato... Cass really has the habbit of having her set of the anti-hero's/antagonists, when faced with a gun, just die... I honestly wanted that scene to have a bit more UMPH to it, not just "Zabuza fucking PWNS everything and Haku watches.") But I suppose you can only drag these things on to the point where a major plot point is someones basement get's re-done (no, I kid you not.). Brought Together season...what...3(?)(I don't even think the both of us think in terms of seasons) is yelling at us to close it and go into our respective corners and reach into the "That could be a good plot" grab bag and leave the BT crew alone for a while.

(Also, totally want to make it so Sakura can't have children, just to cause drama and BAAAAAAAAW)(Also, why is it that the Yakuza in our RP seem to be everyone's minion!bitch? You'd think the Yakuza could handle a little girl/ fat business man... RP!Yakuza are pussies, god!)

 
 
I feel a little....: content
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
11 October 2009 @ 09:42 pm
Can't always get what you want  
One hell of a night guys. I honestly was worried since I, once again, had nothing to write about. Well I guess I got what I wanted, not in the way I hoped, but nothing I can really do about it at this point. And be real fucking glad I had a hour and a half car ride to mull over it, or you all would have the largest BAAAAAAAW fest this side of the mississippi on your hands right now. No, seriously, I did "Crawling" a shit load of justice an hour ago, I'm telling you... and it sortof frightens me how quickly my mood balanced out. But anyway, I guess I'll spill the cold and sloppy beans.

Me and Tobi aren't girl friends any more! Holy shit, is the sky falling!!!? No, but as much as I can say I handled it like a mature adult and didn't just explode into a sea of absolute misery like a brokenhearted highschooler, I didn't have my big girl pants on hand, and it all sortof came at me like a really bad surprise. So yeah, CRAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIN and all that overplayed jazz.

That and the majority of the bumpy breakup was discussed via text message. I know I know, text message breakups are an abomination to the severing of a romantic relationships and is probably the most douche-baggery thing you can possibly do, but there was no other way... I was in the car with my mom and Paulina when this all went down and me crying like a two year old about how my girlfriend just broke up with me, snot-and-all, would probably be the number one worst way to come out to my family, and if I waited the entire car ride I probably wouldn't be in the same state I am right now, let's just say.

So the entire drama happened via text, and I tell you I don't think I ever felt that way before. I was devistated, obviously, eyes and nose leaking like I'd sprung a massive leak somewhere, but at the same time I felt empty. I'm not going to romantisize how I felt, I'll just leave it at that. I was sad but at the same time I felt nothing at all. Probably because this has been my longest relationship and for the first time in years it was the first time I was actually in love with someone.

But somewhere down the line, between the "You're my everything"s and the "I can't go on without you"s I grew my figurative girl balls so to speak and eventually made peace with it all. It's not like me and Tobi are all "Oh my fucking god, hate you nao!" Nothing really has changed in the long run, you just won't see us devouring eachothers faces if you ever happen to see us somewhere (heaven forbid someone from the actually internet finds me IRL). I'm a thousand times better than when it all started, my sleves are just covored in dried snot and I'm drowning the last of my sorrows the classic way: Ice cream, my dear old companion. Nom nom nom, as I always say (literally).

And thank you to Wiebs and Lisa who talked to me through it all. I know I didn't say much but talking to you guys even for a second made me happier (And the making of epic plans smoothed my mood out quite a bit). So now I'm not all "BAAAAAAW LEAVING INTERWEBZ FOREVAR TO GO BE EMO!!!!!!" (Even in the beggining I don't think I'd throw away my pride that easily) I'm just a little shaken, and don't feel like role playing with Cass.

Derp.
 
 
I feel a little....: exhausted
 
2 psychos said... | Say something 'bout it!!!
 
08 October 2009 @ 04:42 pm
The dog says "Meow"  
Had a two day break, I'm not even sure why, LJ. It's sortof an undescribable feeling, like I want to get on and update you all on my (uneventful) life, but for some reason I just avoid LJ like it's going to fucking devour me. Not like anything happened the last two days, I'm still sortof angry about it. I hardly keep in contact with any of my friends, I might as well keep them up to date and let them know I have yet to do something horrible to myself in a feild of corn.

If we end up like college humor's "Honest Graduation Song." I'll never forgive any of you, I swear to Godjesus and the toast he always seems to be on.

Today has been just about as eventful as a bad game of golf. It snowed pretty heavily, but for like five minuets and I sat around watching a history channel special on Woodstock (Hey, if you're going to watch the history channel, watch something that's about something cool) when I was supposed to be working on my aunt's story book crud... I swear to god every waking moment I have free time my mom will appear out of fucking no where, like her and scotty have this sort of underwraps connection with eachother. And she just materializes out of nowhere and says "Don't you think it's time to work on Kim's stuff?" And it's like someone asking if your ticklish, no matter what they say fingers are going under your armpits man. No mater what I say I'm banished from whatever I'm doing to go draw "Kim's stuff."

I shouldn't complain, I'm lazy as fuck, I should be glad I have something to do that isn't just self satisfying fandom shit.




 
 
I feel a little....: mellow
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
05 October 2009 @ 07:21 pm
The surrealist's fish  
It's a wonderful thing to wake up and the first thing that happens is that your mother totally catches your bullshit you've been pulling for 30 some odd days. That bullshit being me totally not working on my aunts story book and telling her I was on a roll. So there I am, half asleep, ready to rinse myself of the smell wafting from my armpits (it's what woke me up, and it pains me to admit that. It smelled like period.)(I was unawear pits could produce such a stench.) and furiously scrub at my face and enjoy the comforts that is a warm shower  on a cold and cloudy day when my mom suddenly calls my name. And it wasn't the default "I need to tell you something" tone. It was more of a "Gonna smack a bitch" tone, and it's the worse thing to hear in the morning. So despite knowing that I responded, and ended up finding out my mom opened one of my many drawing folders and looked to see if I had been working on my drawings.

So I was banned from the computer until I got, get this, 10 pictures drawn and colored. I wasn't so angry about that, I'm not going to complain like a brat that my mom, OHMYGAWD, punished me for being a lazy troll. It's sortof to be expected and I didn't put many words in edgewise to try and argue or haggle my way out of it. I'm mostyl angry that my mom went and looked through my shit without asking me. I honestly don't understand the mental process that most of my family seems to use, which is open or look through anything that's been set to the side or left sitting around that doesn't belong to them. Most things I've gotten in trouble for stem from my mom or sisters looking through my things I leave around. Couldn't she have just... left it alone. Oh, look, a folder full of my daughters drawings. I'm going to look through it for things that could concern or anger me instead of respecting her privacy. What. The. Fuck.

In a rage I did as I was told, sitting in front of the TV getting distracted by Comedy Central and honest-to-god only laughing over the fact that Stephen Colbert mentioned keyboard cat... which honestly shouldn't be all that funny. Drawing has never been so unenjoyable, exhausting and infuriating than those hours I spent playing catch up. I never thought I would become agitated by my own hobby.
 
 
I feel a little....: good
 
1 psycho said... | Say something 'bout it!!!
 
03 October 2009 @ 03:41 pm
Bloop bloop bloop etc.  
I think Wiebs cursed me, to begin. I got a text from her yesterday mouring the loss of her Konata cellphone charm's right arm. I mourned with her, unawear that learning of Konata cellphone charm's demise would lead to my undoing... or rather my Deidara cellphone charms undoing. So Tasha took the liberty of using using my cellphone to talk to her friends for several hours, totally drunk (Who the fuck get's totally wasted on a Friday night at their own house? At least go somewhere to get drunk, getting wasted in your house where absolutly nothing is going on is pretty sad) and before she left to go to bed I told her to give me my cellphone, in fear of what would happen if she had the thing for more than 12 hours. Everything seemed fine, as she staggered over and gave me my phone back, totally wreaking from head to toe of booze, but then I realized something was deffinintly off. And lo and behold, folks. Deidara's entire front side and both arms were missing. There was honestly no arguing with Tasha, I knew that. She was fucking drunk and it was close to one in the morning, I wasn't about to unleash the furry of the angry anime nerd upon her because it would honestly do nothing but wake everyone else up.

I made no progress at all in finding it, I didn't even get to do my rounds around the house (Now that I think about it, I don't even think I would have made progress at all, with how small the parts I lost were) because apparently my family decided to make every flashlight in our house impossible to find, and I honestly looked for an hour, not for the Deidara's missing pieces, but for a FLASHLIGHT. When it occured to me this was the case, I gave up, perminintly it seems. I guess Deidara is fated to be armless from now on, along with not hanging from my cellphone because every time I'd look at his armless and chestless form I'd just get pissed and full of nerd rage. Though you have to consider it ironic that my DEIDARA cellphone charm lost BOTH of his arms. If it had to get damaged, I guess it wanted to get totally torn apart in a canon way.

So thank my drunkard of a sister for allowing the curse of the armless Konata to take place.




 
 
I feel a little....: irritated
 
1 psycho said... | Say something 'bout it!!!
 
02 October 2009 @ 02:06 pm
Suck a big toe  
I think I like group interviews better than normal interviews now. So, anyway, I had to wake up this morning at the buttcrack of dawn to get all nice and pretty  for the kohl's interview. I had to wear these slacks that rose up past my belly and this ugly purple sweater. I honestly looked like a girl my age with the fashion sense of the retirement home demographic (I fucking love that word. Demographic. It's such a long word but it just rolls off the tongue) That and I wore this buttugly old woman dress shoes that were torture to the fact I didn't have the mind to grab some fucking socks. My feet, if they felt emotions, would hate me by now.

Anyway, we get there and wait around, me and my mom giggled at the cards for, I kid you not "troubled relationships" and I giggled to myself that there were eleven woman and one dude waiting for the interview to start. We were eventually all hearded into this one room in the back, and you cannot imagine my reliefe when the guy who was interviewing us said "This is a group interview". I didn't even know how group interviews worked (much less the fact that they even exsisted), but for some reason anything that goes from being a 1 on 1 to being in a room with 11 other people really makes whatever you're about to do a little better... depending on the situation of coarse. Like if you and 11 other people end up in something like SAW, you're royaly fucked no matter how many of you there are.

Anyway, we get down to buisness and I'm trying to keep a good outer image despite the most insainly unatractive acne that has decided to grow as a bright red unholy trinity around the edge of my lip. But the chairs were so easy to SLOUCH in, I kept on finding myself halfway down my chair! And when the interview started with general questions Icame to realize it was time to call upon my unchanneled ability to lie or to glorify the things I've done like they actually mattered. Of coarse my spirit was wavered a bit by the fact the first girl had worked for a shitload of huge companies and several people after her seemed like they'd been working since they were shot out the womb. The one person that actually kept me from freaking out durring the group interview was the ONE OTHER GIRL who had no work expirience. Thank you, one random girl wth no work expirience. You get todays thanks and props.

The corn maze job I held for a day became "I worked at the corn maze for a VERY SHORT TIME" and magically I suddenly was an expirienced baby sitter, just so you know.

Time passed by quickly and before I knew it it was over and we'de been there for an hour and a half and my feet were dying.Taking off a pair of shoes has never felt so good. We drove around dropping off applications after that, and then proceeded to pick up more. I feel that's the only thing giving me hope, comming back home every day with a pile of applications to fill out in hopes I'll get a job somewhere. And it honestly speeds up the job when you can simply skip over the  "past employment" section, time and again. If I get a job I better not lose it, it's going to suck having to actually start to fill that section out.


 
 
I feel a little....: determined
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
01 October 2009 @ 06:58 pm
HOLY HELL ON FIRE BATMAN  
Sorry about being such a whiney bum last entry, I honestly need to stop doing that. A quick little kick to the head from Tobi made me realize what a whiney whore I was *hides head in shame* So sorry about that, I'll refrain from unloading a sackfull of uneeded BAAAAAAAW on the internet in the future.

Since then I've been in a good mood, I suppose. I got my first ever call back from somewhere I applied, and as soon as I answered the phone and I got so-and-so from kohl's I was too shocked to speak. You can't imagine the forests I've killed in applications without a single call back. So when I finally got a call back for an interview the first thing I did was throw an overly hyperactive party in my spinny chair. I know an interview =/= a job, but it's the closest I'll ever honestly get past going on and about filling out application after application. I'm honestly treating it like this massivly important achievment.

Dear self: it's not, but good job anyway?

Amber, the fucking cat from hell, is in heat again. I honest to god thought it didn't happen very often, at least not this late in the year. But neigh, she's back to whinning all day and night with her butt up in the air like she expects us to do something about the fact she's horney. Which we can't but thanks for trying(?). But every night she wakes me up, and every time I wake up I swear to god I think she's a crying baby. It's not a pleasent feeling to wake up and think there's a crying baby in your room, especially if you don't like babies! D8. And my mom;s all paranoid because when she does her little "Oh god, do me now" pose, it looks like she's about to pee on something. I'm sure what she's doing signifies she wants something to go inside, not to want to expell something...in so little peacey words.

Been puzzling over the movie theatre applicationg for days. Applications shouldn't be that hard, but when you've done the little/ below minimum group leadership shit they expect everyone to have done, it's hard to answer a question asking "Describe a time when you exhibited leadership skills even though you were not the designated leader." I know the first thing Kevin would say would be to pull every answer out of my ass, and I usually have zero problems with lying on the spot (as do most people these days) but for the life of me I cannot think up a decent lie or falsified, glorified fairy tale of "the most challenging team environment I've been in and what the outcome was."

I can honestly say, though, Icould answer every question on the gaddamn sheet with scenarios from this years NDK, all of which involve battle kerioke. But I'm pretty sure they won't find it as funny as I do.

But seriously, man, losing to team monk in a battle kerioke competition (and contracting H1N1 as a result) at an anime convention should SO be a pre-requisit for any job! I mean....common. Handing out tickets and popcorn and singing like a drunk in a room full of people in costume/sexy dancing to genie in a bottel totally go hand in hand these days!
 
 
I feel a little....: excited
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
29 September 2009 @ 09:24 pm
Buttload of cheeze, y/y?  
Made a bump on a log look like an olympic distance runner from Kenya today. Most close thing to athletic that I did was lovingly mollest my cats... okay that was a bad choice of verb, I gave my cats attention, and not in the furry way. But still, changing the word choice doesn't exactly make the fact that I moped around all day seem all that better and redeeming. So, as you can imagine, Alexis doesn't have much material to write about, as does she have almost every day. But Alexis wants to keep up her promise to write in her livejournal... like that will make her less of a pethetic internet whore by updating her sad pethetic blog about how she's an unemployed blob who's 30 minuets or more away from all her friends... fucking children-of-the-corn town. So Alexis is going to scrape the bottom of the barrel, see if there isn't something moldy but usable down there. Hey, rotting shit can be usable sometimes, as long as I'm not allergic to it.

Kaylie: I'm physically frightened of my stepsister. I'm not sure why, probably because she has a more worldly air and her future doesn't include being a hopful at a nursing home applying for a dog grooming trade school. That and every afternoon she comes home from school for lunch and a lot of the time always brings around her friends, and there I am, at the computer, the first sad and pethetic thing they see when they walk through the house provided my dog or a cat isn't at the front door to distract them from the waste of life typing away on twitter.  I'm just sitting there, the living fleash and blood example of "Hey kids, here's not what to do when YOU get out of highschool." I never considered ever having a self esteem issue, or at least not a long-lasting one, but whenever she's around I always feel like a falier and I feel even though we're apart of the same family now, I'll never be able to connect with her.

Mother: It's not that I'm her scapegoat, I'm more of her reason to yell at something that's alive and isn't an animal when everyone else is away. Here's her slacker of a daughter who has no job, license, or schooling neatly lined up in a row, this gives her a one way ticket to just UNLOAD on me before everyone returns. She just dumps all of her frusterations, things I'm not even reletivly involved with or related to in any way shape or form, right on me and I just have to sit there and take it because I can't honestly say anything.

Nothing much else to say, the rest of this shit in this barrel is shit. Twitter may have it.
 
 
I feel a little....: crappy
 
2 psychos said... | Say something 'bout it!!!
 
28 September 2009 @ 05:04 pm
That would make a great band name  
(If I ever get around to making a band (Aka: ahahahahahaha, never you fag!) I would SO make THE TITLE our band name)

Anyway, today was spent getting dragged all over Longmont by my mom looking for a job. I can honestly say I want one now and see little to no negetives in having one, like back when I first started this never ending fail quest to get fucking cash. I still have my limits, though, as to what I will and will not consider to be an awsome job. It's shrunk, the list, now openly accepting all fast food chains with painfully outstretched, falling-asleep arms. But there's still jobs I cringe at, as does everybody. Todays "Oh god, you really want me to work here?" job is a nursing home. Know me personally enough and you'll know me and old people are like oil and fucking water, me being the oil. Old people, some may be fun, but the nursing home demographic weirds me out and really steers me clear of anything drooling/ babbling away in a wheel chair.

As soon as we walked in I felt suffocated. It's not necissarily a PHOBIA of old people, I just can't be around them. Anyway, they were all over the place, in their wheelchairs, hanging out in the main lobby, one guy shouting at the top of his lungs how much he opposed the thought of drunk driving. Both me and my mom got applications and sat down to fill them out amoungst the chatter, and I honestly wished I could totally just Liang that shit, but alas, there was nothing that I could answer that wasn't a questionarre, so my application turned out neat and friendly (Not to mention prior employment and knowledge about what the hell I was applying for-less) The one thing that made my time there were the times my mom sent me out to her car to fetch stuff. Not because it got me away from the overwhelming cloud of "unable to feed themselves" old (Well... that too, but...), there was a guy out in front, just sitting there, that I swear to you by whatever holy book you want looked exact-fucking-ly like CUMMINGS! I had a anime-fag moment in my head and tried not to creepily smile as I passed him. Props to you, unawear you look disterbingly like a minor anime character-man.

Nothing much else happened after that. Applied at Barns and Nobel, got applications for the public library and Kohl's, cut an angry truck driver off (If you ever decide to cut someone off, pull in front of the smaller car driving demographic. Cutting off a dude in a gigantor-wheel-sized truck fucking scared the shit out of me.) I need to start doing more shit, but hey, at least I'm writing!


 
 
I feel a little....: drained
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
27 September 2009 @ 10:13 pm
The tenticals have tenticals  
Dear livejournal:
-I'm a whore and didn't post for weeks
-I'm a whore and got a Twitter
-I'm a whore and mulled around the house this entire time
-I'm a whore and just now got over my overwhelming post-con depression
so, to make a short list even shorter: Is a whore and is fail, please excuse the following as it shouldn't matter all that much...unless you're me.

Anyway, yeah, my endless moaning appologies for never updating LJ. I'm honestly shaming myself into making an effort to go back to a post-a-day, mostly because I feel awful I got a Twitter, and I'm going to proove to the world one can have both a Twitter and a blog account that allows me to post novels about my rather uneventful life made out of pure concentrated pethetic and fail, no additives or transfats (Also fucking organic)(It'll still give you cancer, though, just FYI. I would not suggest ingesting said fail) Nothing much has happened, life wise. It's all just a contstant pattern of sitting on the computer, going out of town to apply for jobs, never getting called back, and gettng nearly harrased to work on my aunts picture book. I tell my mom that 10 pics are colored in done. In reali life, you know, what I don't tell her most of the time, I have 8, and only 5 of which are colored. If I ever blabbed that little tasty fact to her I'd be banished to my room until the end of time.

WTF self, it's your aunt and a story book that could possibly get you a sum of money, whether ot be from your aunt, or the ever so dwindling sliver of a chance anyone would ever buy that shit. God, I'm just a fucking ray of positive sunshine these days.

Partied like a rockstar all up in 'da hood this weekend, put all motherfucking parties to shame with the shit that totally went down this weekend, fucking bawlin'. If you believed that last few sentences dripping with "This kid is whiter than freashly fallen snow/ didn't mean a single word" were more serious than cancer you're a fucking idiot and should get out. Anyway, yeah, got my ass hauled up to WYOMING (YEEEEEEEAH BOY!!!!) this weekend, the only thing that really partied was my "This would make a great horrar movie" sense. Going up probably damaged my eyes, looking out and watching shrubs and endless stretches of fucking nothing pass by. Got all fucking excited over windmills (You gotta admit, though, after an hours/more stretch of boring wasteland/ semi-watching, a forest of windmills is fucking cool) and made a crack about what should be on the "Welcome to wyoming, why the fuck could you possibly be doing here?" sign. The colorado sign said "Welcome to colorful colorado" (On a sign that was black and white, no less. That right there is a genious preview), so I figiured the Wyoming sign would say "Welcome to someplace else... not as colorful." And you know you've crossed the state line when the first thing you see is about 6 fucking forework outlets, not more than 10 minuets away. I'm pretty sure Coloradins give them most of their business, signing a waver that they TOTALLY won't go set them off in Colorado, and then drive away, proudly desplaying their license plates.

ANYWHORE, we apparently were there for some family reunion, which it literally was considering I only recognized my Uncle Lyle and my grandparents. Everyone else basically got that "Um... who are you again?" look from me the entire weekend. Saterday evening was mostly filled with me, Tasha and Paulina scoping out the burned down mill right on the outskirts of my richer-than-fuck great uncles property (You know you're fucking rich when you have nothing else better to do with your money than buy a stretch of land in the middle of "No" and "Where"). It was pretty spooky, perfect setting to start up some horrar flick shit. It totally layed itself out perfectly, too. Tasha was all "I need to piss" and did what all logical thinking humans do when you're outide, and a toilet is right down the road. Pee in the rucking burned down mill ruins. And she went and dissipeared, and it took us five minets to find her. She totally could have dissipeared, dragged down underground by mill zombies... or something. The rather plain and boring hills have eyes. But no, Tasha was fine, and we went and picked up a bunch of cool looking rocks and laughed at the "4.20" graphiti every old/destroyed building has to have somewhere (It's a rule of thumb, I suppose)(Amoung stoners)

Went out to eat that night. Only thing that was awsome was when Great Uncle Steve unwrapped his "For no fucking reason" present my dad got him from Alaska in the resteraunt. The kicker: It was a harpoon. Fuck and YES!

The next day was spent with us driving around Saratoga looking for a place to eat breakfast. Here was that mornings "Menu". Out of business, full, and "holy shit, there's like 20 people comming twoard our resteraunt" closed. So the little town of Saratoga was very unwilling to satisfy our early morning apatites, mine of which I had to hold off at the pass with gummy worms (Not the Trolli kind, that shit makes me sick. Weird how I can stand generic brand sour gummy worms better than Trolli, which wins at all things gummy and shaped like animals/O's) and Oreo's.

We then proceeded to go to this hotsprings. Life has made me have high hopes for my hot springs.The hot sulfer, strawberry and Glenwood springs all are pretty top notch in my book, each in their own little way (Hot sulfer: the amount (Hotubs of the stuff everywhere) Strawberry: the location (tucked away from everything up in Steamboat) Glenwood: It's awsome (Attractions)) But the Saratoga hot springs decided to be all "Let's let this springs sampler down today". The place in general is free, and was called, laughably enough, the "Hobo pool". I kid you not. It was just a single pool that housed the most unsanitary restroom facilities ever (A sentence: No toilet, one shower) But I was hopfull, I'm a woman who doesn't judge her hotsprings by how well kept their bathrooms are (or in this case, are not). The Saratoga public "hobo pool" hotspring is definintly a hotspring to judge, especially if you rather frown upon being boiled like a human lobster. The little pool itself is on the nateral side. Slimy sides, caked with green would-rather-not-be-told-what-it-is-exactly,  and a sandy/rocky bottom. The temerature ranged from wherever you wandered, the sides being "Fucking hot shower" temperature and the middle being a very defined "I boiled this shit on high to kill bacteria" temperature, water rising from the underground spring in the form of bubbles. Bubbles that, at first, look fun to romp upon, but then burn the shit out of your feet. If your of the filthy bathroom loving demographic who get off on getting the shit burned out of you I recomend the Saratoga "hobo pool".

The drive back was just as, if not more boring. We had to take an alternate route back to Colorado, the highway got closed. The only good part of the ride was the general nostalgia of going down the same highway we went down to pick up Tobi from Golden to go to NDK. Minus the getting turned around and getting directions from a friendly trucker, of coarse, and making jokes about Lisa and PW taking an awfully long amount of time selecting a bag of chips and getting the patented Wiebs fist of justice.

Anyway, that was my weekend. From here on out I'll force myself to write more  entries here. Or I'll eat a pair of my own socks. Nom nom nom.

Also, while I had the time of my life with harpoons and burned down mills and hobo pools, I missed "National Aplaca Day." I think I want to BAAAAAAW harder about that than if my missed Christmas.
 
 
I feel a little....: contemplative
 
Say something 'bout it!!!
 
 
 

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